Words

Written, typed, texted, spoken in person or long-distance; read, heard, seen, interpreted...

Words are incredibly powerful.  

In the Sunday school class I'm teaching at my church (I love my middle school girls!) we've been working through the book of James.  A couple of Sundays ago, we studied the passage in which James talks about taming the tongue.  We talked a whole lot about how influential our words are.  Everything really seemed to sink in, and a couple of the girls offered their own wise insights.


On a different note, this week has been pretty challenging for me (see Stressed...), especially the last two or three days.  I've been exhausted physically, emotionally, and spiritually; and I have really felt the effects.  Because at least a low-moderate level of stress is not too unusual for me, I tend to bear up decently, but once my stress-o-meter reaches moderate-high stress, I... well, let's just say that even I don't like being around myself at that point.  I am ashamed to admit that one thing I sometimes do when I'm stressed or frustrated is verbally abuse myself.  It has taken me a long time to realize that's what I'm doing, and it took me scolding someone else for doing it to themselves!

"You're pathetic."
"Seriously...you're going out looking like that??"
"Sheesh, Ugly, hit the gym if you have to go out in public."
"You idiot, you should have worked harder/done better/known not to do that...."
"Why do you even bother to try __________?"

Talk about a "fire, a world of iniquity"!  Somehow, though, I had always assumed that the tongue - the "little fire," the "small rudder or a large ship," the "evil and poisonous" thing sitting innocently behind my teeth - was only capable of hurting others.  And while that is true by means of gossip, thoughtless words, sharp insults, and more, it is also true that my tongue is completely capable of causing injury to me.


My mom has reminded me on different occasions when she caught me putting myself down that my self-inflicted verbal abuse is sin.  When I call myself ugly or unintelligent, I am essentially saying that God's work is flawed.  That thought always puts things into perspective for me:  How dare I devalue myself?


Yes, I am flawed, because I am a sinner currently residing in a sin-cursed world.  Correction:  I am a redeemed, forgiven sinner who is currently residing in a fallen world.  I have been redeemed my Jesus' sacrifice when He took the penalty for my sins (including each time I have put down one of His precious creations).  It is by my acceptance of that redemption and His all-powerful mercy that I am forgiven.


This evening I was reading a newly discovered blog (I highly recommend checking it out!), and I came across a beautiful piece of encouragement.  In the midst of one of her "Other Virgin Diaries" blog posts, PhyliciaDelta said something that hit home for me.  "...[my] value is already determined."  I do not determine my value; neither is it based off of what I do or how I look.  My value was determined before I was even conceived by the marvelous God who made me and who is still molding me into the woman I ought to be.


Those are some words I needed to hear tonight.

I need to stop using my words to hurt anyone, including myself.

I need to start intentionally using my words to encourage and heal.

And maybe - just maybe - I need to start listening to myself and my students better as we study the most beautiful words ever written.