As it so happens, creativity in the form of written thought springs itself on me every once in a while. Typically this occurs between 0200 and 0530, unfortunately. Also unfortunate is that while the thoughts I write down at these times make perfect sense to me at these moments, I rarely save the writings long enough to go back when I'm fully awake to see whether I'm actually, genuinely creative, or if it's just my poor, tired brain attempting to give me a hint that it's time to shut off the lights and slip into bed.
So I'm going to try a little experiment here. Hope you don't mind. I am going to copy down, word for silly word, what I scribbled into a notebook not half an hour ago. If this post suddenly disappears in a week or two or so, it's only because I will have realized making a copy of my written thoughts wasn't such a bright idea... :)
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What a time of stiffling - stifling - stiff-people talk.
What a time of strife and intellectual starvation and stupor.
What a place to exist, to exasperate, to extinguish little lives.
And
what a season in which to be living, working, playing, learning here.
BUT WHY SO?
How can we have fallen to days of tedious, tiresome, toilsome trouble?
How can we sting with words, shoot classmates, stab others' hearts?
How can we determine probability of life-worth, profitability of an unborn person,
decide with life-ending power their chance at life
In this world where we live and work and play and learn?
I AM NO BETTER.
Living in such shame, sorrow, scarcity of sincerity.
Working for me, for my desires, in mediocrity, from my own motivations.
Play consisting of pointless pleasures resulting in pain
and absence of peace.
Learning because I can, studying because I must, applying to life when convenient.
I AM NO BETTER THAN THIS WORLD.
No better, except for one simply, complicatedly beautiful thing:
DEATH.
Through one death a gift was created, crafted; catapulted into my life in the form of a choice.
Through that death, life beyond existing - beyond extinguishing other lives - became a possibility.
Through this lovely death chaos, confusion, and calamity are crushed.
Through joining in this death, my living-death has lifted and lead to living-life.
AND SO,
I have died to that life;
Therefore when I live out the world's life - my old form of living - I am as a ghost of my real, living self.
Productivity perishes.
Ministry diminishes.
My soul suffers.
I have died to that life;
Therefore I may only truly live within the bounds of the Life-Giver's life.
Grace grows.
My testimony is triumphant.
Death again dies.
Monday, December 23, 2013
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Tea
Tea has been my hot drink of choice since I was 12. My voice teacher had recommended I drink it with honey mixed in when I had a sore throat, and I really learned to love it! In my family, I am the only tea drinker, though Dad will have a cup occasionally (he religiously has at least a cup or two of strong coffee every day), and I have managed a handful of times to talk Mom into having some echinacea tea when she's sick, or a more palatable flavor for a scratchy throat. Chaela detests tea, saying it tastes too much like leaves. (Yes, she knows why.)
Outside of my family, I have met many avid tea drinkers, and have enjoyed sipping mint (my favorite!) or whatever they recommend to me while visiting. I've discovered that a warm mug and aromatic drink can spark interesting conversations, ranging from topics such as the BBC TV show, Doctor Who (I still haven't gotten to see "The Day of the Doctor"!) and the best places to travel, to a two-hour-long conversation about personal salvation testimonies and witnessing.
Most recently, I have had the enjoyment of serving tea to our new landlord and getting to listen to him talk about all the interesting people he has met and worked with (including Mother Theresa!). The other wonderful time I had over tea within the last week or so was with one of our friends who helped us with this move, Jonathon. He and I met up to chat and catch up at a tea shop not too far from home, where I got to try a chai blend I'd never tasted before while discussing C.S. Lewis, Lord of the Rings, teaching at my old homeschool group (more on that later, probably), and how God has worked in our lives. I hadn't meant to stay too long since I knew Mom would want my help at home with organizing and cleaning things, but before I knew it, the clock near told me I'd been nursing my tea-burnt tongue and talking for nearly three hours!
Maybe it's because I like tea so much, but I have always liked Eleanor Roosevelt's little saying,
This is not to say that this year hasn't had it's wonderful moments of pleasure and excitement and wonder! Please don't believe I mean that by any means! In fact, I do believe this year has held some of the most beautiful moments of my life yet. I have loved more deeply, trusted God more fully, learned bigger lessons, more firmly cemented dear friendships, grown closer to my parents and sister and two or three friends, learned more about my marvelous Papa God, and shared some of the best tea ;) with some of the most interesting people yet!
And I do thank God for both ends of this year, for both the pretty and unattractive parts. I hope I have shown my strength, and that my strength is good because of Him who IS MY STRENGTH, and that He will continue strengthening me.
Outside of my family, I have met many avid tea drinkers, and have enjoyed sipping mint (my favorite!) or whatever they recommend to me while visiting. I've discovered that a warm mug and aromatic drink can spark interesting conversations, ranging from topics such as the BBC TV show, Doctor Who (I still haven't gotten to see "The Day of the Doctor"!) and the best places to travel, to a two-hour-long conversation about personal salvation testimonies and witnessing.
Most recently, I have had the enjoyment of serving tea to our new landlord and getting to listen to him talk about all the interesting people he has met and worked with (including Mother Theresa!). The other wonderful time I had over tea within the last week or so was with one of our friends who helped us with this move, Jonathon. He and I met up to chat and catch up at a tea shop not too far from home, where I got to try a chai blend I'd never tasted before while discussing C.S. Lewis, Lord of the Rings, teaching at my old homeschool group (more on that later, probably), and how God has worked in our lives. I hadn't meant to stay too long since I knew Mom would want my help at home with organizing and cleaning things, but before I knew it, the clock near told me I'd been nursing my tea-burnt tongue and talking for nearly three hours!
Maybe it's because I like tea so much, but I have always liked Eleanor Roosevelt's little saying,
"A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."Anyway, it seems to fit how this year has panned out pretty nicely. Well, at least I hope it fits in a good way. Since this time last year, my family and/or I have been through so much - getting to take care of Gavin, then giving him back to my aunt; church hunting yet again; Jon taking me to Iowa with him over spring break; Dad's deployment; tons of house-hunting and house-showings; a best friend's wedding and all the fun and craziness that goes with that; school complications; Jon's and my breakup; balancing school, somewhat excessive travel, and a job; giving my two weeks' notice to said job's boss in part because of travel issues; moving; volunteering and working with my aunt at her school for three weeks; and so on it goes.
This is not to say that this year hasn't had it's wonderful moments of pleasure and excitement and wonder! Please don't believe I mean that by any means! In fact, I do believe this year has held some of the most beautiful moments of my life yet. I have loved more deeply, trusted God more fully, learned bigger lessons, more firmly cemented dear friendships, grown closer to my parents and sister and two or three friends, learned more about my marvelous Papa God, and shared some of the best tea ;) with some of the most interesting people yet!
And I do thank God for both ends of this year, for both the pretty and unattractive parts. I hope I have shown my strength, and that my strength is good because of Him who IS MY STRENGTH, and that He will continue strengthening me.
Moving In
Mom, Chaela, and I are getting settled into our new house, and I am very pleased to say that it is quickly becoming our HOME. Funny, how any set of walls and windows and a roof may offer shelter and comfort to a person, but until there is a sense of familiarity and a touch of love, it remains a house only. Of course, my home is and will continue to be incomplete until Dad is present, but it is a nice, reassuring feeling to know this is the place God has us for the present.
I've gotten to greet a few neighbors already, though I haven't met anyone yet. While I do miss living in the woods, with the fresh scent of pine and plenty of open space, I did miss the opportunities that I have now to call across the street just to say hi. (In our old neighborhood I had to go for a walk just to see people face-to-face, and wold have needed a megaphone to say good morning from our garage!)
We have been wonderfully blessed by a number of friends from our TKD dojang and a friend I met while taking classes at our homeschool group in my senior year of high school. God is so good to provide help for us through them! We did have Two Guys and a Truck (or in our case, four guys and two trucks) move some of our things, but the bulk was transferred from house to house in Mom's van, Chaela's car, my CRV, and our friends' vehicles. Thankfully the two houses are only about seven miles apart!
As for my own space, I do need to do a lot of work still before it will really feel like MY space, but it's coming along. Speaking of, I ought to go take care of some things before bed. :)
At that, good night, all!
I've gotten to greet a few neighbors already, though I haven't met anyone yet. While I do miss living in the woods, with the fresh scent of pine and plenty of open space, I did miss the opportunities that I have now to call across the street just to say hi. (In our old neighborhood I had to go for a walk just to see people face-to-face, and wold have needed a megaphone to say good morning from our garage!)
We have been wonderfully blessed by a number of friends from our TKD dojang and a friend I met while taking classes at our homeschool group in my senior year of high school. God is so good to provide help for us through them! We did have Two Guys and a Truck (or in our case, four guys and two trucks) move some of our things, but the bulk was transferred from house to house in Mom's van, Chaela's car, my CRV, and our friends' vehicles. Thankfully the two houses are only about seven miles apart!
As for my own space, I do need to do a lot of work still before it will really feel like MY space, but it's coming along. Speaking of, I ought to go take care of some things before bed. :)
At that, good night, all!
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