Overwhelmed by...

STRESS.  Ugh, I don't like being stressed, but it just seems to happen quite naturally.

Do you ever feel so overwhelmed by one thought, one emotion, one event, that it's all you can do to accomplish anything?  I know that feeling quite well.  Not because I experience it very often, but because it's what I'm going through right now.

Unfortunately, this sort of total consumption is usually unpleasant, as it is for me at this moment.  My poor camel has been laden with stress of moving, stress of school (especially that bothersome history course), stress of will-not-be-spoken-here things, and stress of doing my best as a Sunday school and sign language teacher.  Now the final straw has been laid on that camel's back, and it looks like he just might break.  I have to go through a procedure I've had twice before (last time was in February), as another doctor tries to figure out what's up with my body and what can be done to help.

The funny thing is, none of these things are bad at all (even history)!

• We are moving into a house that God has blessed Mom in finding:  It has a lower rent, has a great layout, welcoming neighborhood, and wonderful landlord.  Additionally, my family and I are blessed to have a bunch of friends who would gladly come and help up move if and when we need them.
• I get to have the peace of mind, knowing that I get to graduate next year with a BA and debt free, thanks to my parents' generosity, the G.I. Bill, and God's provision.  I also get to take my courses online, which allows me to be more involved in other activities because of the flexible study schedule.
• I can see that God is using those unspoken things to help me mature emotionally and spiritually.  Only a few weeks ago I taught my middle school girls over James 1:2-4.  "...count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience...."
• Teaching is a joy for me, and I love the girls I get to teach!  Studying the scripture and sign language helps me a great deal; getting to share what I have learned and am learning is an added blessing!
• The doctor I was referred to is a kind and good doctor, so far as I've been able to tell.  I am thankful he isn't willing to just go ahead with whatever treatment seems most logical without first checking the results of the upcoming procedure to make sure we choose the best course of action.

It's mainly that last thing that has me weighted down with unnecessary apprehension.  But even with that, I know God is completely in control.  Sometimes I just need a focus check, I guess.  My worry and stress stem from focusing on my school or work or whatever, rather than on Him who made me able to complete those tasks.  

I clearly can't do this on my own.  And as much as I appreciate my parents, sister, and friends' support of me and my efforts, they aren't enough, although God may choose to use them in encouraging me, helping me, and scolding my foolishness when needed (and believe me, it is needed from time to time).  Whatever abilities I have are from God Himself; whatever abilities I lack can be supplemented by Him alone.  What a comforting thought!

PEACE.  And it's not some silly, empty thing that came from me emptying my mind of all my stressors or some such nonsense.  It's something beautiful that can only come from God, I know, because it passes understanding.

Another Year, Another House!

We're off once more!  Again, we're just moving a short distance across town, but still, it involves a great deal of planning, packing, and patience.

Okay, maybe patience isn't directly linked to moving usually, and of course patience is required outside of this particular activity, but I sure feel like I need more of it than I currently have.  I'll own up to the fact that I am a bit of a perfectionist control-freak.  As such, I know that within this week, I will most likely have a meltdown or bout of insanity, because while my desk may be (more or less) neat and tidy, the entire open space of the basement behind me is a jumble of full boxes, empty boxes, Dad's military gear, packed up musical instruments, pillows and blankets, and a ping-pong table.

And that's just what I can think of off the top of my head without turning around and viewing the mess.

The contents of my room are almost entirely ready to be transitioned from their current space to my new room, and (thank the Lord for whomever invented walk-in closets!) all my boxes and bins and things are tucked nicely away into my closet, where I can shut the door and enjoy my now sparsely furnished but clean room.  In fact, my room has been my go-to escape zone this past week.  I've found that I truly can relax for a little while when I'm in there, even if I've brought along my dreaded Western Civilizations I homework.  That fact just confirms to me that my neat-freakishness may need a small reality check.

Or maybe it's just a good way for me to recharge so I can continue with the work that needs to be accomplished outside of my haven.  Either way, I like it in my safe spot now more than ever.

It's funny.  Even though I get kind of stressed during this process, I don't think I'm as stressed as I very easily could be.  Two reasons:

               1.  This kind of craziness is pretty normal in my life.  It's the totally unknown things that get to me more than that which is unknown but at least somewhat familiar.  (Of course, the familiar things I like best are my God's nearness and the peace He brings, my family, the military, and church.)

               2.  I know God is in this, and He has a new place for me to be and there, new people to meet.  All this insanity is in His hands, which renders the situation as a whole under the best control.

It would seem that I have to head off now - I have school and packing (woohoo!) to do in the morning, and I've been running on too little sleep lately as it is.  Good night, all!

Other Blogs

          A great deal of my time - an embarrassing amount of time, really - is spent on Facebook.  How I use it or why I'm logged on so often is not the point of discussion here, however.  Rather, I'd like to use this post to give my own little shout out to a couple of blog posts I have recently come across, thanks to (you got it!) Facebook.

First,
http://www.thomasumstattd.com/2014/08/courtship-fundamentally-flawed/

          My mom read this first, then my sister and I did, and finally we pulled Dad over to a computer for him to read it himself.  While I may not agree with this particular blog post 100% I really appreciate that someone has taken the consideration and time to answer a lot of questions I've had, and to address some of the fears and concerns I have faced since my (first) breakup almost a year ago.  The 5ish% that I don't really go for is basically this:  I am NOT going to leave my theologically sound, strictly and unashamedly Bible-preaching church family that happens to lack a large number of eligible young men just to make myself more available.  (Nevertheless, I have looked into joining another church's young adult group along with one of my dear friends who also read and was inspired by this blog post.)  Also, I want to note that while "traditional dating" absolutely sounds appealing, I think we still ought to be cautious not to become suddenly overzealous - the dating pendulum does not seem to like to hang center for very long.

Second,
http://phyliciadelta.com/i-waited-until-my-wedding-to-lose-my-virginity-and-its-the-best-thing-i-ever-did/

          This is a phenomenally written response to a rather bitterly written post.  I could go on and on about this one, which I do agree with wholeheartedly, and was incredibly encouraged by, but I recommend you just read it.  The writer of this blog, http://phyliciadelta.com , is a wonderful writer.

          Well there you have two genuinely good and helpful things I have found on Facebook!  Now to go finish looking at my Utah/California friends' wedding photos, chatting with an Italian friend, and doing who-knows-what to kill time....