October 6, 2016

NOTE: This post is copied directly from Jon's and my wedding site (theknot.com/kleinpartyof2), where I decided to write everything in the third person for whatever reason. If I read this later and feel that's just incredibly weird, I'll happily adjust the post. ;) Consider your self warned.

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While Jon does usually keep the specifics of dates a secret, he occasionally lets Dani in on all his plans. This was the case for the date he set for the evening of October 6, 2016. Okay, he told Danielle they were going to one secret location for a game, then out for dinner, then for a night hike to end with stargazing. What he didn't tell her turned out to be his biggest and best surprise yet!

The game was set at a local antique market, and the rules were that each had to find a small gift for the other that somehow reminded them of the other. After wandering around together, they split up and found their gifts, which were paid for and quickly wrapped up in their own small paper bags (gifts should be unwrapped, right?).

Dinner should have been a big clue of what was coming, but Dani isn't always the fastest to pick up clues, like the fact that Jon took her to the Olive Garden, where they had only been once before - on their first date. Jon did take the precaution of eating as much food as he could, because he remembered a friend who had been so nervous about proposing that he barely ate after ordering his favorite food, thereby tipping off his soon-to-be fianceé. Anyway, the dinner was delicious, the conversation was pleasant, and Danielle was oblivious. They opened their gifts: Jon received a rubber "to:/from:" stamp because of al the letters he writes, and Danielle received a silver snowflake necklace because of how excited she gets whenever it snows and for the memory of hiking together through the snow.

After dinner the two changed into warmer clothes suited to a cold night hike, and Jon got a picnic blanket and thermos of hot apple cider ready. The drove to Glen Eyrie and hiked along in the dark, letting their eyes adjust to see the stars better. God miraculously cleared away the clouds that had lingered around for several days just enough that the clearing Jon and Dani were headed for had a perfect view for stargazing! Before reaching he clearing, Jon asked Danielle to wait while he got the blanked and things set up. (As it turned out, the "and stuff" meant turning on his GoPro camera, which was cleverly hidden in a tree.) 

Danielle has always loved watching the night sky, and was perfectly content sitting with the man she loves and enjoying God's magnificent creation with him. When Jon stood up, she assumed he was moving to a spot with a clearer view of one constellation or another, and stood to join him. That wasn't his plan. Instead, Jon took her hands and asked her to close her eyes and promise she wouldn't peek. When he was satisfied, he moved away and made his way around the clearing (switching on the candles he had set in place hours earlier). As he moved he started talking about what he had learned in his and Danielle's study of 1 Corinthians 13. He told her how much he had learned about loving her, and about how he was struggling with the last part of the love chapter, "love never fails," or "love never ends" because while wonderful, their relationship lacked that kind of permanence and commitment. At his point, he took her hands in his again, asked her to open her eyes, and knelt on one knee. 

Danielle had noticed a gradually growing light through her closed eyelids, and (finally!) started to wonder if Jon was about to propose! By the time he was kneeling in front of her, she was trembling (she was too well bundled up to be shivering) and feeling completely giddy. 

The the words finally came - the only part of Jon's wonderful, perfect proposal that she would truly be able to recall later.

"Danielle Ashton Sadlo, will you marry me?"

She would have responded verbally right away if her brain would just cooperate... But evidently Jon knew he had the answer he wanted when he saw her huge smile and felt the way she hugged him, because evidently he didn't actually hear her reresponse when it came! Maybe half an hour later, when they were hiking back to the car, Jon suddenly froze in his tracks and spun around to face Danielle, and asked, "You did say 'yes,' right??" Danielle laughed and told him, "I said,

'Yes, of course, Jon Klein!'"

Recent Happenings

Life is never dull around here, but it seems the overall pace has sped up since about mid-May. Here is a bit of an overview from the highlights in that time:

• My dear friend, Patsy, got married! I had the pleasure of being in the wedding, so Mom and I flew out to Alabama for a few days.
• My mom's side of the family had a fun reunion (and Jon got to come with us)! We all hung out, played games, went hiking, wading in the lake behind the huge house we stayed in, read, chatted, ate delicious meals together, lounged in the backyard hot tub....
• Aunt Tara drove back from Utah with my parents, and she helped them start packing up and helped around while Mom prepared for and had a surgery (she seems to be recovering well, praise God).
• Aunt Tara and I got to visit the Denver Botanic Gardens, which were incredibly beautiful, and I cannot wait to go back sometime! 
• Jon took me on a date to Cave of the Winds, where I got to go inside on my first-ever cave tour! Jon had gotten tickets for the lantern tour of the Manitou Caverns. It was so much fun and a great day with him!
• Jon's sister-in-law, Kayla, and I made a lovely dress/elf costume for me to wear to the Denver Comic-Con. Well... Kayla made the dress. I was more her mannequin/assistant, though I did make the shoes for my costume on my own, which was an interesting task.
• (Surprise, surprise!) I got to go to Comic-Con with Jon, his mom, sister, and brother-in-law, and we met up with or ran into friends and coworkers while wandering around the huge convention center. The costumes and vendors and everything were cool to see, and the day overall was full of fun. I didn't quite get to see the few famous individuals I was looking out for (John Rhys-Davies, Alex Kingston, Stan Lee, John Barrowman...) but we did get to sit in on an interview with Cary Elwes (Princess Bride, etc.) which was interesting and quite funny!
• Mom and Dad are getting ready to move into their new, longterm house and home, so Chaela and I have been trying to help a bit between work and other things, and will be helping clean their rental and with the actual move.
• The Navigator's Global Student Program has brought all sorts of nationalities of students to work, train, and grow in their relationships with God this summer. Work has gotten so much busier because of summer guests, but also so much more interesting as my coworkers and I get to make friends with these individuals (I get to work directly with a couple young women from Kenya and Canada).
• Jon and I will be attending two of our friends' wedding next week - I am SO excited for David and Sarah!

Finally, today is Father's Day. Don't worry, the rest of my family is sleeping, or I'd be spending time with Dad. ;) Soon we'll be off to see "Finding Dory" (Chaela's brilliant suggestion)!

Intentional Outlook: Changes

FACT:  Change is a natural and necessary part of life.

FACT:  I don't always handle changes (especially unpleasant and unexpected changes) as well as I would like to.

FACT:  God is completely unfazed by change, and is always totally in control.  

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There is a LOT going on this... well, this entire month, really.  I feel like I'm finally settling into my new job, and I'm definitely loving it!  Chaela and I are settling into our short-term apartment, and haven't butted heads over anything silly.  Foreign students (French and Chinese) are beginning to arrive with their host families at my church, and I'm trying to remember to take this into account as I teach Sunday school.  Two beautiful weddings have taken place in this month, joining my friends in marriage (Jamin with Madhu, Kristen with Matt).  I've finally broken through some walls I started putting up almost two years ago (praise God for His great help here!) which is allowing me to develop better relationships (finally!).

One of the biggest things right now (right up there with that last point listed) is that Mom and Dad are leaving tomorrow to begin a new chapter!  They will be in South Carolina for a couple months, then go to New York and maybe another place or two before heading back here to the Springs.  In between studying, working, and everything else, Chaela and I have been up at their house as often as we could make it to help them pack up and move things to a storage unit.  Whew!  So much to do there...  But of course the point here is that Mom and Dad's move is a bit of a change.

Who am I kidding?  This is a rather BIG change!  Good gracious, it almost feels like my parents are moving out, and now we're both "empty nesters"!  Weird.  

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The intentional part of my outlook today came to mind while I was glancing over my blog posts.  Every single one of them that was written concerning an activity was written about an unusual or unexpected event.  Changing houses, going to a range with Dad, Chaela, and friends, taking care of my cousin, Gavin, Dad's last deployment, traveling, etc.  They all have something to do with change.

The things that don't change - or change so gradually that their change goes nearly unnoticed - are not necessarily boring.  They are, however, just the everyday stuff.  They're the mundane, not-easy-to-write-about stuff.

Thank God for change and it's ability to keep things interesting, to keep things improving, and for the assurance that even at its craziest, scariest, and most incredible, God has a perfect plan that will be worked through that change.

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FACT:  Change is interesting, at the very least.

FACT:  Change can be good and beneficial.

FACT:  God does not change.  He is above changeability and is in control of it.  I don't need to be in control of change myself, because I can rely on an trust in Him!

Intentional Outlook: Explanation

Today I am thankful for a number of things:  I got to sleep in, run a couple of fun (ish) errands, take a walk downtown under bold slate-blue skies, visit two bookstores, see a young friend in her school play, chat with Mom for a bit, and spend some time with Chaela.  Was today perfect?  No, not really.  Was it without flaws?  Absolutely not!  In fact, I woke up to news that still has me a little angry.  But today was a good day overall, and it had plenty of pleasant things in it.

I have been working for a while now (but inconsistently) on intentionally focusing on the little joys and blessings God graciously allows me to experience throughout each day.  Today - most of today, at least - made for an easy day to practice being intentional about my outlook on the little points that make up daily life.  Let me back up a little to explain myself....

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I am incredibly happy to say that a day ago last week I started my first day of work!  My official title is "bookstore attendant," but in addition to working directly with books, I've been learning how to make various hot and cold coffees, teas, and other delicious beverages.  Additionally, I have been learning the food menu items we serve, the layout of the property, customer service details, and so on.  Part of my training was that I got to tag along on a tour of the Glen Eyrie castle.  *ahem*  I got to take a tour of a castle right next to where I work!  That sort of thing just doesn't happen - at least not in America.  How cool is that??  And how blessed am I?!?

More to the point, after the tour, I heard a couple complimenting our guide on the presentation and tour itself, and on her work.  She thanked them, noting how encouraging it is to hear positive feedback.  She had had extremely discouraging feedback just the day before, and it had made her question her abilities as a tour guide a little bit.  Honestly, I was surprised to hear that she could receive anything but good reports, but the whole scenario reminded me how weighty and influential words can be.  The book of James warns about the power of the tongue.  James warns us of the tongue's propensity to wildness or untamableness (let's pretend that's a word) even while he encourages us to bring ourselves - untamable tongues included - under the control of the Holy Spirit.

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I have decided I should and must keep myself - my words, thoughts, and actions - in check both when I'm out and at home.  Can I do this on my own?  HAH!  Certainly not!  Alright, Maybe I could keep an intentionally positive outlook on life some easier days, like today.  I just might do an ok job on rough days, too.  Well...for a week or so.

No, I know that would be little more than an attempt to recondition my natural and habituated responses.  I need complete change in my heart as well as my habits.  Change on this level can only be accomplished in God's will, through His strength.  I will still mess up and revert to bad habits when I shift my reliance to myself, but I have full confidence in Him.

So what am I saying?  What is the point of all this?  I promise, I'm getting to it.

One of my current college courses is on the relief of stress and tension, and although I don't agree with all the theories and methods I have to study, there are some valid points in the course.  For example, it is now more widely acknowledged that the well-being of a person's soul or spirit is positively linked to the person's overall well-being.  (Who knew, right?)

Another point that I had previously supposed but have now gotten to study is that positive thinking is directly linked to good mental health and lowered stress levels.  Positive thinking can be seen in thinking "I've got this!  I'm going to do well!" before heading into a potentially stressful situation.  It can also be seen in actively choosing to focus your attention on the positive aspects of a situation rather than the negative.  Of course, this is easier for those who are naturally optimistic and more challenging for pessimists.  I personally consider myself a realist (I weigh the potential for both positive and negative and try to adjust according to whatever will logically follow), and as someone who  wavers between the two extremes, I find it healthy and wise to have an intentional outlook.

The simplest way for me to nurture this intentional outlook is to ask myself what the highlights of my day are (today:  conversations with family, cheery weather, visits to bookstores, etc.) and dwell on those things.  

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Of course, I would like to note that the trying, troubling, and sad points of a day oughtn't be ignored for the sake of an exclusively positive perspective.  Rather, these low points need to be handled with care and resolved if possible, as soon as possible.

Perfect Plans

Confession:  I can be a bit of a perfectionist sometimes.

Example 1:  Things in my room, on my desk, and generally wherever I am have to be in order.  Even if "order" means piles of school books, papers, and odd notes and to-do lists on my desk, there is a place for everything and I feel like I'll go crazy if it isn't in its place.

Example 2:  Every light switch in my house has to be flipped the "correct" direction if there is more than one switch to a light.  I will sometimes go out of my way to fix a switch that's been left the "wrong" way.  (I'm intentionally working on not letting this bother me, though.)

Example 3:  I started this blog post as a Facebook status, but wanted to convey my thoughts just right so my status quickly became tediously long.


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Perfectionist?  A little, maybe.  Or maybe I just have some weird quirks.

Perfect?  HAH!  Not by a long shot.  In fact, I've begun noticing more and more lately that a lot of these little quirky things can not only be distracting to me and to others around me, but they can be downright annoying.

You might be thinking, "Well, DUH, of course they're distracting and annoying.  Who cares about which way a light switch goes, whether someone has their t-shirt sleeve flipped up the wrong way, or that a pile on your desk isn't at right angles with the other piles?"  You're absolutely right - these are silly.

All the same, I believe that orderliness is a lovely thing.  God Himself is, I believe, the Author of order from the workings of all living things on a microscopic level to the way churches were set up in the New Testament.  I once read when I was in middle school that some scientific study showed that people tend to sleep more peacefully in a tidy room than in a messy one.  (Honestly, I was just excited that there was an explanation for why I would stay up late cleaning Michaela's and my room just so I could get in bed without feeling restless!)

In addition to these things, lists and planning are the backbone to much of my daily life.  I make lists of chores and errands, of places I would like to go and things I'd like to do, and of homework that needs to be completed.  I will be going on a road trip in April, and already have planned out how long each leg of the trip should take, where to stop to refuel, and what expenses I'll need to be prepared for.  Sure, I don't stick to my lists and plans all the time - I enjoy spontaneity and try to choose an adventuresome attitude when I get lost.  I love to ignore my course assignment lists to spend time with friends or a couple hours on painting.  But I do still feel lost if I haven't at least written everything out.

On the other hand, though, fixation on unimportant little details is far from lovely.  It takes away from time spent with my friends and family.  It creates frustration in me where none should exist in the first place.  I would go so far as to say that it can be harmful to me emotionally and spiritually.  Emotionally, because I am focused on things that aggravate me about others' habits.  This leads me to becoming frustrated with myself because I can't see any logical reason to be annoyed, and I spiral downward from there.  Spiritually, because I am essentially setting myself and my little rules and habits as right, and anything else as wrong.  I become so distracted by my way of doing things (and "fixing" others' ways of doing things) that I forget to set myself aside and learn about the God who created me.

Even now, and in other moments when I see the trouble with my perfectionism and odd little quirks, I have to remind myself that God in no way messed up on me.  Any wrong thing I do is directly caused by sin in the world and my choice to comply with my worldly self (which really is silly, because that means I'm basically allowing a dead and empty version of me to be in charge of the loving and full-of -the-Holy-Spirit version of me)!

I do mess up; God cannot mess up.  To mess up in any way would be counter to His very nature.

If this is the case, why on earth do I constantly choose to do things my way?  Why don't I simply go to this perfect God (who has already saved me from my old, sinful self by His inexplicable grace, mercy, and love) and hand my perfectionisms over in exchange for His perfect plan?


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Confession:  I feel safer when I [think I] know exactly what will happen, even though I know some of the most wonderful things happen entirely without having a list, rule, or plan of my own in place.

Example 1:  In March 2014, I was teaching two ASL classes at High Country, working on a college course I didn't particularly enjoy, learning how to do human makeup for The Thorn.  Now, although I sometimes feel like graduation can't come soon enough, I more fully realize how blessed I am that I get to study both seemingly tedious and perfectly practical/enjoyable college courses free from any weight of debt, thanks to two years' worth of my dad's G. I. Bill.  Also, I have gotten to participate in all sorts of fun and unique experiences, and through those I've learned so much and have gotten to meet lots of interesting people.

Example 2:  A year ago yesterday, I met Sarah (who had just moved here from Michigan) while hanging out with three other dear friends.  Since then, she has become one of my dearest friends and confidants, and she, Chaela, and I are planning on moving into an apartment together before the year is out.  I sure didn't see any of that coming!

Example 3:  Last year right about now, Mom, Michaela, and I were getting ready to have Dad come home from deployment almost two full months ahead of schedule - what a wonderful joy and blessing!  There are far too many factors to list here that were completely out of my control, so I had either to hand my cares concerning them over to God, or go crazy worrying over them.  (Thanks largely to my mom's example and to His consistent faithfulness, I usually did remember to hand those worries over.)


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Thank goodness I'm not in charge of getting everything right.  Thank goodness I'm really not in charge at all, except of my own self - my heart and attitude, my choices and actions.  There are many things that can and should be in order, and I want to devote my energy to those far more worthy causes (helping and encouraging others, studying the Bible with others and on my own so I can keep God's perfect plan in mind in place of my own flawed ideas, managing my time wisely so I don't waste the blessings I've been given....).

Thank goodness for a perfect God and His infallibly perfect plans.

Content

1 Timothy 6:6-9

            6 Now godliness with contentment is great gain.  7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.  8 And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content.  9 But to those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition.

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            I realize that in this passage - particularly notable in v. 9 and on - the "richness" seems to refer literally to wealth and money or other worldly possessions.  Nevertheless, as I read this, I think I can replace the word "rich" with "married" or whatever else I'm struggling with that seems to be preventing me from being content.

            But how can I ever be content, even falsely so, if that state of being is dependent on where I live, what friends I have, where I work, how well I'm doing in school, or my marital status?  There are two reasons those things will never in themselves bring me contentment.  First, contentment is not a state of being; it is a choice.  And that choice may sometimes have to be made on a daily, hourly, or even momentary basis.  It is a struggle.  But it is less so when my focus has been redirected toward the second point:  God.  He is the One and only One who brings contentment.  It is only in Him that I can have peace, true joy, and -- contentment.  If I seek to find any of these things outside of Him, I'll be sorely disappointed and potentially end up hurt because I've settled for something less than what I've been created for.

            Yet I need to keep in mind that even when I am "walking in the center of God's will" (as some put it), even when I realize the above, this struggle will still take place.  But I really ought to be struggling for better reasons than those I have now, the excuses I repeat to myself to excuse my discontentment.  My present excuses are generally that I need something/someone I don't have; that I'm afraid to be okay with where and who I am; and that I just can't seem to grasp contentment, no matter what I do.

            I believe, though, and want to make my attitude follow, that my excuses should be different.  (That is, if I may still call them excuses.)  If I am not content, it will be because it is a moment by moment struggle, and as a weak and sinful human, I am going to have moments wherein I simply am not content.  Lord, let those be brief moments!  If I am not content, it will be because I am actually not okay with where I am and something needs to change.  There is nothing wrong with letting a struggle - even discontentment itself - point out a shortcoming where I can grow and become more like the woman God is shaping me into, and thereby become more wholly the woman that my future husband deserves.

            Now, concerning v. 9 again, I left that in to let it serve as a reminder.  It reminds me that if my desires aren't lined up with God's will and what I know from the Bible, then my desires combined with discontentment can lead to all sorts of heartache and harm.  Honestly, I think I'd rather be stuck struggling with discontentment with my incredibly good God by my side than give in to temporary fixes that I know will only bring me hurt and harm.  Neither side really sounds appealing there, but I also have the added assurance that God truly is good.  

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Luke 11:9-13

            9 "So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.  10 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, it will be opened.  11 If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish?  12 Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion?  13 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!"

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            I am convinced that certain desires I have are godly ones, and because of the beautiful encouragement found in that passage from Luke 11, I also believe that God will not withhold any good thing.  The trouble here is not so much that I doubt God will do these good things despite what the Bible says; but rather I fear that He won't simply because He hasn't already done so on my terms, in my preferred timing.  

            So not only to I need to rely on God's help for contentment itself; but I also need to hand Him my doubts.  All easier said than done, I know, but at least for me, I find that once I've thoroughly worked out why I have fear, doubt, or whatever other thing I'm struggling with, it's that much easier for me to look that monster in the face and smile, because I know God is bigger than it is.

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(This post is something of a personal add-on to this gem of a blog post that I read earlier today: Contentment is Not a State of Being.  If you got anything at all from my post, you'll really appreciate Phylicia's!  She writes more fluidly than I do, and has additional scripture in her post on the theme of contentment.  I wrote this after being encouraged by 1 Timothy 6:6, which she included.)

Touchy topic: Trick-or-Treat

This week I've seen so many Facebook posts that have to do with why Christians should or shouldn't participate in Halloween; things to do with Halloween candy; and what costumes people will be wearing to go trick-or-treating, to a party, or to a church harvest festival.

I wanted to add my perspective to this.  Please keep in mind that this post is not intended to condemn anyone who chooses to participate in any way with Halloween; and the same goes for those who choose to treat this as any other night and have nothing to do with the holiday.



I remember going trick-or-treating with my sister, mom, and dad a few times when I was little.  It was so much fun getting dressed up, having Mom help with our costumes and paint our faces, and walking around a neighborhood or two as a family!  I best remember the year Dad dressed up as Noah, pulling our wagon  ark with a cow (Chaela) and a lamb (me), and a bunny walking behind (Mom).

Mom and Dad also took us to our churches' fall festivals, which were even more fun because we got to play games and be around a whole bunch of familiar faces.  When we lived in Illinois, our church celebrated Reformation Day on October 31st, so everyone dressed in period garb.  Of course we girls were more than happy to be princesses!

After the Reformation celebration experience, we moved overseas where Halloween isn't celebrated (although Carnevale is similar, it's celebrated at a different date).  So we did trunk-or-treat on base once or twice - I only remember the year I dressed up as Nancy Drew.  Back stateside, we celebrated with our AWANA group then here in Colorado, with Chaela's TKD dojang.

Last year, I went caroling instead of trick-or-treating (it was a sort of reverse trick-or-treat experience).  That was the most uniquely spent
Halloween night, and while it was unusual, I had a blast!  You can read more about it in the link above.



Needless to say, I've had a pretty varied experience as far as activities on the night of October 31st.  Today, I am a grown-up who still loves playing dress-up whenever I get an excuse.  I am someone who likes candy, caramel apples, and pumpkin bread a little too much.  This year I'm not going out (not even to Chipotle for their wonderful "wear a costume and get a $3 burrito deal!) because I have a lot of reading to do.  But I am absolutely looking forward to meeting my neighbors as they bring their kids around door to door for candy, showing off their cool costumes.

Candy and costumes.  Is that the current foundation for tonight's festivities?

It would appear that the answer is yes.  At least, that sure is what it looks like for the most part.  Harmless enough, right?  Unfortunately, evil has a way of creeping in where it shouldn't be, and bounding in where it's openly welcomed.  And regardless of Halloween's origins being good or evil, it seems there has always been a connection with death.  Is this a celebration of the dead, death, and all things dark; or is this a celebration that death has been defeated for those whose life and death have been handed over to the Conqueror of death?  Granted, for some - perhaps for many - this is just a night to go along with what everyone else is doing.

If only it were that easy for Christians!  We are not supposed to be lazy in anything we do, or to simply go with the flow of everyone else's lives.  It does sadden me, though, that those who do think this day and its implications through often end up at the throats of those who think differently.

One blog I read this week (linked through Facebook) put things in a way I appreciated more than anything else I've read yet on this subject.  (Read here.)  While I may not agree with the writer 100%, I appreciate his input and perspective.



Whatever you choose to do tonight or any Halloween night, I hope that your choices are rooted in your convictions.  And whatever your convictions are, please be gracious toward others who think and act differently.  (The fact that you aren't fighting with them does not imply that you agree with them!)  And I urge you to use tonight to become better acquainted with your neighbors and friends.  And if you can, use tonight as a prime opportunity to be a light in the darkness by how you choose to dress, speak, and act.