Content

1 Timothy 6:6-9

            6 Now godliness with contentment is great gain.  7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.  8 And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content.  9 But to those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition.

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            I realize that in this passage - particularly notable in v. 9 and on - the "richness" seems to refer literally to wealth and money or other worldly possessions.  Nevertheless, as I read this, I think I can replace the word "rich" with "married" or whatever else I'm struggling with that seems to be preventing me from being content.

            But how can I ever be content, even falsely so, if that state of being is dependent on where I live, what friends I have, where I work, how well I'm doing in school, or my marital status?  There are two reasons those things will never in themselves bring me contentment.  First, contentment is not a state of being; it is a choice.  And that choice may sometimes have to be made on a daily, hourly, or even momentary basis.  It is a struggle.  But it is less so when my focus has been redirected toward the second point:  God.  He is the One and only One who brings contentment.  It is only in Him that I can have peace, true joy, and -- contentment.  If I seek to find any of these things outside of Him, I'll be sorely disappointed and potentially end up hurt because I've settled for something less than what I've been created for.

            Yet I need to keep in mind that even when I am "walking in the center of God's will" (as some put it), even when I realize the above, this struggle will still take place.  But I really ought to be struggling for better reasons than those I have now, the excuses I repeat to myself to excuse my discontentment.  My present excuses are generally that I need something/someone I don't have; that I'm afraid to be okay with where and who I am; and that I just can't seem to grasp contentment, no matter what I do.

            I believe, though, and want to make my attitude follow, that my excuses should be different.  (That is, if I may still call them excuses.)  If I am not content, it will be because it is a moment by moment struggle, and as a weak and sinful human, I am going to have moments wherein I simply am not content.  Lord, let those be brief moments!  If I am not content, it will be because I am actually not okay with where I am and something needs to change.  There is nothing wrong with letting a struggle - even discontentment itself - point out a shortcoming where I can grow and become more like the woman God is shaping me into, and thereby become more wholly the woman that my future husband deserves.

            Now, concerning v. 9 again, I left that in to let it serve as a reminder.  It reminds me that if my desires aren't lined up with God's will and what I know from the Bible, then my desires combined with discontentment can lead to all sorts of heartache and harm.  Honestly, I think I'd rather be stuck struggling with discontentment with my incredibly good God by my side than give in to temporary fixes that I know will only bring me hurt and harm.  Neither side really sounds appealing there, but I also have the added assurance that God truly is good.  

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Luke 11:9-13

            9 "So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.  10 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, it will be opened.  11 If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish?  12 Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion?  13 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!"

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            I am convinced that certain desires I have are godly ones, and because of the beautiful encouragement found in that passage from Luke 11, I also believe that God will not withhold any good thing.  The trouble here is not so much that I doubt God will do these good things despite what the Bible says; but rather I fear that He won't simply because He hasn't already done so on my terms, in my preferred timing.  

            So not only to I need to rely on God's help for contentment itself; but I also need to hand Him my doubts.  All easier said than done, I know, but at least for me, I find that once I've thoroughly worked out why I have fear, doubt, or whatever other thing I'm struggling with, it's that much easier for me to look that monster in the face and smile, because I know God is bigger than it is.

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(This post is something of a personal add-on to this gem of a blog post that I read earlier today: Contentment is Not a State of Being.  If you got anything at all from my post, you'll really appreciate Phylicia's!  She writes more fluidly than I do, and has additional scripture in her post on the theme of contentment.  I wrote this after being encouraged by 1 Timothy 6:6, which she included.)